Grandparents: The New Gatekeepers for Early Motor Development

Grandparents Are Often the First to Spot Early Motor Delays in Grandchildren

Today, there are more than 80 million grandparents in the U.S., and more than half of those belong to the “baby boomer” generation. They are likely to be busier—many work full or part-time—but they are also healthier and more active, and spending time with their grandchildren is a high priority.

An increasing number of these highly engaged grandparents are noticing and taking action when they spot an early motor delay. They are particularly adept at identifying developmental milestones because they’ve raised their own children and know if a baby’s movements don’t look quite right. They also trust their instincts and aren’t afraid to bring up issues to medical professionals, making an invaluable difference in children’s lives.

Today, one in 40 children is born with an early motor delay, and each year more than 400,000 U.S. children are at risk. The term “early motor delay” describes a wide variety of conditions, ranging from low muscle tone to cerebral palsy. If untreated, these delays can lead to difficulty walking, talking and even eating. The good news is that most cases are not serious, and with physical therapy and a strategy of tummy time while awake, most children can catch up quickly.

Detecting an Early Motor Delay

When parents, caregivers and grandparents know what to look for, an early motor delay is easy to detect—if a baby isn’t holding up her head or pushing up on her forearms by the end of the third month, she should be taken for an evaluation.

Some examples of grandparents (and great aunts and uncles) who have contacted Pathways with their concerns:

• A grandmother from Florida knew that her five-month-old grandson couldn’t hold up his head yet, but wasn’t satisfied with his pediatrician’s advice.

• A woman from Illinois wanted information about her great-niece’s motor development.

• A grandmother from Missouri didn’t know the right way to approach her daughter-in-law, who was defensive about the fact that her baby was labeled “delayed.”

Kathy O’Brien answers the phones at Pathways toll-free number (1-800-955-CHILD) and answers grandparent emails. For the Missouri grandmother who didn’t know how to approach her daughter-in-law, Kathy mailed Pathways’ brochure on early motor development, which is endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, and advised her to share it with her daughter-in-law.

“Sometimes information from a neutral third party is more acceptable to a mom who’s naturally feeling defensive, even guilty, about her baby’s development,” said Kathy.

Early motor delays are nothing for parents to feel guilty about. Anything from a pre-term birth to simply being crowded in the womb (because of multiple births) can cause an early motor delay. The key, however, is early detection and early physical therapy. Babies can begin physical therapy as early as three months, and beginning sooner rather than later can mean the difference between months versus years of therapy.

Signs to Watch for

A recent survey showed that 95 percent of parents tend to “wait and see” if they suspect their infant isn’t developing on schedule. If you suspect something is wrong, trust your instincts. At the end of three months (adjusted for pre-term birth), you should look for the following:

While lying on tummy, baby...

• Pushes up on forearms
• Lifts and holds head up

Signs of concern:

• Difficulty lifting head
• Stiff legs with little or no movement
• Pushing back with head and trunk while on tummy or sitting

Pathways offers visuals, including a growth and development chart and more information about developmental warning signs. Grandparents can learn more about early motor delays by browsing the Pathways Awareness Foundation website and by calling Pathways’ “parent answered” help line, 1-800-955-CHILD (2445).

Grandparents Making a Difference

Most grandparents are unsure about how to approach their children with their concerns. Even when family relationships are good, grandparents often worry that their children will perceive their comments as meddling or blaming. Some tips:

• Utilize third-party information. Sometimes it helps if information isn’t viewed as a grandparent opinion, but is from a credible, neutral third party. Pathways Awareness has downloadable brochures on early motor development and information on a host of development topics, as well as the different types of therapies available. Introducing the information with an open-ended question (“I found this online—what do you think of it?”) can help spark a discussion.

• It’s the little things that help. If there are concerns about a baby’s health, the entire family is often tense. Taking a parent or a grandchild’s sibling out to lunch, offering to drive to a doctor’s appointment, and bringing over a meal all help take the pressure off.

• Respect the parents as the final decisionmakers. Mimi, a grandparent in Illinois, knows this first-hand. A strong advocate for her grandson, Mimi often researches new and alternative therapies. She introduces her ideas and offers resources to her grandson’s parents, but never forces her ideas. Mimi sees the parents as the number-one decisionmakers in her grandson’s life, and when they don’t agree, she respects their decisions.

• If you strongly feel that something is wrong, don’t give up. Be as sensitive as possible, but do your research and engage third-party information and professionals to provide you with backup. If your grandchild does have an early motor delay, early detection and therapy can give your grandchild the best start possible.

For more information on early motor delays and the help available, continue to browse the Pathways website, email friends@pathwaysawareness.org, or call us at 1-800-955-CHILD (2445) for advice or to have materials mailed to you.